


Control

by lone_sehlat



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-31
Updated: 2010-10-31
Packaged: 2017-10-13 00:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lone_sehlat/pseuds/lone_sehlat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock's reaction and conversation with his father after nearly killing Kirk on the Bridge.</p><p>Originally posted at my old LJ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control

Spock staggered off the Bridge, unable to look at his father. Grief warred with shame as he fought for control. The worst of it was that Kirk had been right. He should have admitted that the logical course of action would have been to relinquish command. He had been compromised and deep down he knew it. He let his pride and emotions dictate his actions to remain as the acting captain. His own need and desire to not be seen or thought of as anything less that complete Vulcan. He ignored the rule of logic he had dedicated to living his life by and it stung to have had Kirk point it out, to goad him into losing control.

He was embarrassed that he had nearly throttled Kirk on the Bridge in front of the rest of the crew. How could they respect him now? He was taking a slight measure of satisfaction in it though, of having had his hands wrapped tightly around the cadet's neck that had been giving him so much trouble ever since before this mess with Nero. He forced himself to unclench his hands that were balled into fists at the memory of Kirk's flesh in his hands, at how Kirk struggled for breath as Spock tightened his grip. He took several deep breaths as he found himself inside the transporter room, staring at the pad that should have bore his mother as they were evacuating, if the cliff face had not given way before the transporter had a lock on her.

He collapsed on the steps beside the pad, his hands splayed on it as if he could bring his mother back through force of will. It was illogical, he knew, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't know how long he sat there before he jumped as he felt a broad hand on his shoulder. "Your Captain needs his crew. All of his crew." the voice said firmly

"He removed me from command. He was right to do so. I am of no use to him. By rights I will be facing a court martial if we survive this Father." He stated, his voice even and flat.

Sarek seated himself on the edge of the platform so he could face his son. He looked down to where Spock's hands were. "You did everything you could have done."

To the human ear, there was no reproach, no anger, no blame in Sarek's tone, but Spock's half human, half Vulcan ears picked it up loud and clear. At least he thought he heard those things in Sarek's tone although rationally he knew it was his own guilt. Sarek had not spoken to him since he had left for the academy over eight years ago. If Sarek truly held him partly responsible for Amanda's death, he would not be speaking to him now, but Spock couldn't process that at the moment.

"But it wasn't enough. It has never been enough for you, why should this be any different?"

Sarek regarded his son for a long moment. "When you were young, you asked me once why I married your mother. I told you that as Ambassador to Earth, it was logical. It was more than logical. I married her because I loved her. It was my mistake not to tell you that then." Sarek pronounced, getting up and leaving before Spock could speak.


End file.
